עשן לבן, מ×ת תמר צורן, הוצ×ת ×סיה
ד"ר ×“× ×™×ל בוקובזה, בסקירתו לספר "עשן לבן" (מוסף ספרי×, ×”×רץ, 5.6.2013), מתייחס לקושי לתמלל ×ת ×”×›×ב ו×ת הדיכ×ון. כפסיכולוג, ×”×•× ×ž×¦×‘×™×¢ על ×”×פשרות לגעת בכ×ב בכל ×–×ת, ×œ× ×‘×מצעות תי×ור מילולי ישיר, ××œ× ×“×¨×š פעילות ×¤×¨×©× ×™×ª של ×¡×™×ž× ×™×, דרך הקשבה ×œ×“×‘×¨×™× ×”× ××ž×¨×™× ×•×מפתיה. כמי שעוסקת בספרות חשבתי ×›×™ בדומה ל×ופן שבו קשה לתמלל ×ת ×”×›×ב, כך קשה לתמלל ולהסביר מהי ××ž× ×•×ª, מה הופך יצירה כלשהי ליצירת ××ž× ×•×ª.
הסיבה לכך × ×•×‘×¢×ª ×›× ×¨××” מכך ש××ž× ×•×ª, כמו ×›×ב, ×”×™× ×ž×©×”×• שמרגישי×, ×”×™× ×œ× ×ž×©×”×• שחושבי×. ב×ופן ×ישי, כקור×ת, ×× ×™ מחפשת תמיד ×ת ×ותן יצירות ××ž× ×•×ª בספרות, ולרוב ×× ×™ ×œ× ×ž×¡×ª×¤×§×ª במה ×©×”×•× ×‘×¢×™× ×™ פחות מכך. כשהגיע הספר "עשן לבן" פתחתי ×ותו בחשש, פחדתי שלמרות ×”× ×•×©× ×©×¨×™×ª×§ ×ותי, ×ת×כזב מהכתיבה, ממעשה ×”××ž× ×•×ª עצמו. ××œ× ×©×‘×ž×”×¨×” התגלה לי ×›×™ תמר צורן, שזה ספרה הר×שון, ××™× ×” מ×כזבת, להפך – ×”×™× ×ž×¤×¢×™×ž×”; ×”×‘× ×ª×™ ×›×™ ספר ×–×” ××™× ×• "רק" ספר על מחלת הדיכ×ון, ××œ× ×”×•× ×§×•×“× ×›×œ יצירת ××ž× ×•×ª ספרותית. התגלה לי ×›×™ × ×•×©× ×”×¡×¤×¨ – הקושי לדבר, השתיקה, הצורך לשמור ×‘×¤× ×™× â€“ × ×•×›×— ×’× ×‘×›×ª×™×‘×” עצמה. כתיבתה של צורן מדודה מ×וד, זהירה, כל משפט × ×©×§×œ היטב, כל מילה ×˜×¢×•× ×”, המתח בין מה ×©× ×מר לבין מה שעל ×ודותיו בוחרת המחברת לשתוק כמו × ×©×ž×¨ כל הזמן. ××œ× ×©×‘×ופן פרדוקסלי, הכתיבה המדודה והשקולה ×”×–×ת, מצליחה ×’× ×œ×¡×—×•×£, ×•×”×¤×¨×˜×™× ×”×§×˜× ×™× ×•×”×˜×¨×™×•×•×™××œ×™×™× ×©×ž×ª×רת המחברת ×ž×¦×˜×¨×¤×™× ×™×—×“ ×œ×¢×•×œ× ×ž×•×—×©×™, מוכר מצד ×חד, ×ך ×’× ×–×¨ ומוזר מן הצד ×”×חר.
"עשן לבן" ×”×•× ×¡×™×¤×•×¨ ×וטוביוגרפי בבסיסו ×•×”×•× × ×•×©× ×¢×ž×• חידה – ילדות ×œ× ×“×¨×ž×˜×™×ª, ×œ× ×ž×–×¢×–×¢×ª, "×œ× ×©×™××™× ×˜×¨×ומטיי×, ××œ× ×¨×§ ×וסף ×–×™×›×¨×•× ×•×ª ×¤×¢×•×˜×™× ×•×§×˜× ×•× ×™×™×, ×ž×’×•×—×›×™× ×‘×—×•×¡×¨-חשיבות×, גבעות ל×-מרשימות מפוזרות על-×¤× ×™ מישור שטוח, חד-×’×•× ×™ ומשעמ×". מה ×× ×›×Ÿ ×”×‘×™× ×œ×“×™×›×ון, וכיצד קשורה לזה השתיקה? ×”× ×” כך מעידה על עצמה גיבורת הספר:
"×œ× ×™×›×•×œ×ª×™ לחדול מהשתיקה, ×œ× ×™×›×•×œ×ª×™ להפסיק ×ת מצג-השוו×. ×›×™ כשלמדתי לדבר, למדתי בו-×–×ž× ×™×ª לשקר, וכשלמדתי לספר, למדתי להסתיר: בכי צריך ×œ×”×—× ×™×§, עצב – להכחיש, כעס – לשמר ×‘×¤× ×™× ×•×œ×”×§×¤×™×, צער – לרסק ולבלוע, וכל הזמן, בהתמדה ×•×œ×œ× ×”×¨×£, ×’× ×›×©×“×™×‘×¨×ª×™ ×•×’× ×›×©×©×ª×§×ª×™, הייתי צריכה להיזהר ולהשגיח, לטשטש ולהסוות."
השתיקה מתגלה כמפתח לחידה. ××œ× ×©×’× ×ž×¤×ª×— ×–×” ×”×•× ×¤×ª×¨×•×Ÿ חלקי בלבד, שכן מה ×”×‘×™× ×œ×ותה שתיקה מוחלטת? המחברת תמשיך ותחקור, ובדרכה המדודה תפזר כמה ×¨×ž×–×™× â€“ כמה ×–×™×›×¨×•× ×•×ª ילדות ×©×”× ×›×ž×• חרכי הצצה לסוד שמור וגדול. ספרה של תמר צורן, בכתיבתה המדויקת והסוחפת על מחלת הדיכ×ון ועל הטיפול בה ×חת לשבוע, בתוך חדר קטן שבו ×¢×•×¡×§×™× ×©× ×™ ×× ×©×™× ×‘×¨×™×¡×•×§ ×יטי, מרוכז וממושך של מבצר השתיקה – ×”×•× ×¡×¤×¨ × ×“×™×¨, מרגש ו×ופטימי.
×¢× ×ª×•× ×”×§×¨×™××”, דבר ×חד המשיך להטריד ×•×œ× ×§×¨ בר×שי: מדוע בחרה מחברת הספר להשתמש ×‘×©× ×‘×“×•×™? הרי ספרה מת×ר ×ת הדיכ×ון ב×ופן ×× ×•×©×™ כל כך, ×ž× ×˜×¨×œ כל ××œ×ž× ×˜ של בושה ×ו ×שמה, הרי ×”×•× ×ž×¦×™×£ רגשות ×¢×ž×•×§×™× ×©×œ השתתפות בסבלה של הגיבורה כמו ×’× ×”×ª×¨×’×©×•×ª גדולה × ×•×›×— התהליך הטיפולי, × ×•×›×— השיחות בחדר הקטן, והרי מי ×©×™×§×¨× ×ת הספר יחוש רק הערכה כלפי המחברת, כלפי ×ומץ לבה ×•×›×™×©×¨×•× ×”. ×× ×›×Ÿ – מדוע, למרות כל ×לה, חשה המחברת צורך להמשיך ולשתוק ב×שר לשמה ×”×מיתי? הספר מלמד ××•×ª× ×• ×›×™ שתיקה ×”×™× ×ž×’×Ÿ ×ž×¤× ×™ תגובת ×”×¡×•×‘×‘×™× ××•×ª× ×•, ×× × ×©×ª×•×§ ×•× ×¡×ª×ª×¨ ×ין חשש ×©× ×™×¤×’×¢. הצורך ×œ×ž×¦×•× ×”×’× ×” תחת ×©× ×‘×“×•×™, הו×, כך × ×“×ž×” לי, תעודת ×¢× ×™×•×ª לחברה שבה ×× ×• ×—×™×™×, ×צבע מ×שימה כלפי היחס ×©×œ× ×• ×ל מחלת הדיכ×ון, ש×ותה, עדיין, צריך להסתיר.
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Genuinely good work, the kind that holds up over multiple readings without losing its appeal, and a stop at modernoutfitstore kept that going, definitely a site I will be returning to and probably mentioning to others who work in or care about this particular area of interest today and in coming weeks.
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Recommended to anyone working in or curious about this area, the depth and clarity combine well, and a look at radiantfieldcollective keeps that going across more pages, the kind of site that earns regular visits rather than chasing trends has my respect because it suggests genuine commitment to the topic itself rather than to chasing trends.
Decided not to skim despite my usual habit and was rewarded for the discipline, and a stop at elitetrendcenter earned the same patient approach, training myself to recognise sites that warrant slower reading is part of being a careful online reader and this site is the kind that helps me practice that skill regularly.
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Strong recommendation from me, anyone curious about the topic should make time for this, and a look at onecartonline only sharpens that recommendation further, the kind of resource that holds up against careful scrutiny rather than crumbling at the first critical question is rare and worth pointing other people toward when the topic comes up.
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I learned more from this short post than from longer articles I read earlier today, and a stop at silverlaneemporium added even more useful detail without going off topic, this site clearly knows how to keep things focused without sacrificing depth which is a hard balance to strike for any writer.
Quietly enthusiastic about this site after the past few hours of reading, and a stop at nextgenbuyhub extended that enthusiasm, the calibration of enthusiasm to evidence is something I try to maintain and this site has earned a calibrated quiet enthusiasm rather than the loud excitement that usually fades within a day or two of finding something.
Genuinely good work, the kind that holds up over multiple readings without losing its appeal, and a stop at amberpetalcollective kept that going, definitely a site I will be returning to and probably mentioning to others who work in or care about this particular area of interest today and in coming weeks.
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Thanks for the simple approach, too many sites bury the actual point under layers of unnecessary words, but here every line earns its place, and a look at goldenpetalmarket showed the same care for the reader which is something I will remember the next time I need answers on a topic.
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My usual response to new bookmarks is to forget them but this one I have already returned to twice, and a look at trustedbuyerszone pulled me back a third time, the actual return rate to bookmarked sites is the real measure of value and this one is clearing that measure at a notable rate already.
Bookmarked the page and the homepage too because clearly there is more to explore here, and a quick stop at freshcartcorner only made that more obvious, this is the kind of place I want to dig through over a weekend rather than rushing through during a coffee break tomorrow morning before getting back to work.
A memorable post for me on a topic I had thought I was tired of, and a look at epiccartcenter suggested the same site can refresh other tired topics, sites that can revive my interest in subjects I had written off as exhausted are doing rare work and this one is clearly doing that for me today.
Cuts through the usual marketing fluff that dominates this topic online, and a stop at infinitybuyhub kept the same clean approach going, this is the kind of writing that respects the reader's time rather than wasting it on repetitive setups before finally getting to the point at hand which is what most sites do.