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Someone goes online

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Someone goes online-not particularly computer savvy but they feel they 'get by' as far as checking the weather online, doing their taxes and finding out what movie is playing where-they have in mind that they want to meet someone. It doesn't have to be romantic, though, in all honesty, it would be great if it were. But they don't want their future friend to be from one of those sleazy matchmaking sights. So they go to a blog. Blogs are where all the cool kids hang out. Blogs are where those who aren't just looking for sex find their fix. Blogs don't have sexual predators in them. Blogs are for intellectuals ('just like me'). Blogs are where it all happens. Right? Wrong.

 

This is the truth as seen and read from the 'outside'. I'm not a computer wiz, or a hacker and, frankly, I'm lucky if I can find my way around Israblog. But I know how to write and in a community of writers you'd think that would be enough. You'd think. You'd be wrong.

 

Blogs are founded upon a system of prom kings and queens every bit as much as your average American high school. Blogs have cool kids that everybody fears yet desperately wants to be friends with, and it has its resident geeks that get stuffed into virtual lockers on a regular basis. It is a common misconception that within the world of internet those coveted roles become reversed. That those kids who were teased and taunted in high school—those who's lunch money was eternally missing because it got taken away by the bully of the hour—are now the reigning kings and queens of the cyber playground. They have the power to make you or break you. A good word from them about a post you've written will send you into cyber heaven. A bad one will make your life a living hell. Only that your life doesn't end at the corner of your computer screen; it seeps into your 'real' life, making you ashamed to leave your 'real' home, go to your 'real' job or talk to the very 'real' man who slices your cheese in your local supermarket—but that’s already a different post.

 

The truth is that coolness is a trait for life, just as the number of teeth you show when smiling. A good orthodontist and a couple thousand dollars to spare will make you show more or less teeth, and will, most likely, make these teeth nicer to be seen, but it will do nothing, nothing I say, for the way your lips curl at the corners of your mouth when you smile making you look like a joker. In much the same way, coolness can be acquired. To an extent. Extent being the operative word here. Always and without a doubt the cool factor will fail you when you need it most. When that person you've been dreaming would comment on your post finally does so, you will grow back your greasy hair, pimples, and that chubbiness as if they never left and it would be just another day in your 10th grade gym class again.

 

Alas, you're dreams of sweet revenge have failed. The jock with the great abs and killer charisma who, your only solace was to think, was a total retard and couldn't put together a sentence unless it was in the shape of a car, has done it once again. It turns out he can put a sentence together. A few in fact. It also turns out that when he writes, people read. Seems that the one you took pride in being the opposite of was not only handsome, cool and good at sports but, what d'ya know, he's clever too…

 

They're now picking teams for a game of basketball. It's amazing how you're still surprised when you get picked last.

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